feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just forgot I was standing up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
