i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
