after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
