dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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