in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
