Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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