We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
