Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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