i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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