I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
