Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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