the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
