I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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