After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
