I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
