Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
