i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
