i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
