like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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