That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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