How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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