can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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