seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
