why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
