non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
