I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
