i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
