There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
