If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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