Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
