I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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