You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
