champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
