My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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