It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
