It's just like the Real World with babies
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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