every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
