I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
