haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
