She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
