I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
