so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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