u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
