I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
