No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
