just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
