we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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