So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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