The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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