I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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