Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
