do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
