READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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