sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
