I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize