Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
