remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
