no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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