If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
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