I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
