Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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